Closure
by Seiren-dit-pity
Summary: Pandora reigns above the creatures of the night, such is her job. Tonight, I want to watch her usual game. I want to see her defy one of those arrogant males. [rated M, sequel to Strictly Business by 50 shades of Kidou]


**Hello,**

**Initially, this was meant to be a songfic on **_**Self Control **_**by Laura Branigan, until almost everything (and everyone…) escaped me. Talk about irony. And I realised in the meantime that songfics were actually forbidden, so it turned out quite well, don't you think ?^^**

**Discussing with Rose Brangwenn sparked this idea of a sequel to **_**Strictly Business**_**, by 50 shades of Kidou. For those who haven't read it, I'm using back the idea that Pandora is an escort, and that Kidou was one of her clients. Of course, this entails a ****lemony**** part.**

**And thanks to Lindii for proofreading. It was just the confidence boost I needed.**

* * *

One. Two. Three soft glows, then all the avenue illuminates, as do the other neighbourhoods. The street lamps suddenly shine bright into the growing dusk, covering the town with a brand new luminous mask.

I'm about to do the same. Night comes and I change. I cover my face with make up and put on my disguise. When the sky is ink black, I disappear and Pandora takes over. It's a slow, meticulous transformation. First, I gently brush my purple hair and tie it into a bun above my head. I quite like it this way. It shows off my features and adds height to my petite build.

Then, I dust my already pale face with rice powder, like a geisha. Some will argue that it gives me the complexion of a ghost. To some extent, I agree. For when I've put on that layer, I die, and the person looking at me in the mirror with those faded green eyes is just an ethereal reflection of my true self.

Next, my eyes come to life. I dab on some mascara, and trace a charcoal line on the outer corner, and the jade beads morph into almond-shaped emeralds.

Finally, I gloss my lips in a plum shade. I could use red, but I prefer when it matches my hair.

Choosing an outfit for work is easy, I have a whole wardrobe devoted to that. Long, stylish dresses in dark colours, hugging my figure underneath and yet hiding it with long billowing muslin veils. Tight and loose at the same time. "_Fitting garments for a loose woman_" will the tight minds say. Personally, I soar above such reflections. When I look at the draped woman in the mirror, I see nothing but a magnificent moth ready to parade into the neon light.

When I set foot in one of those cosy, confidential high-end bars that are her realm, I am no more. Pandora obliterates me and rules supreme among those predators pretending to be polished businessmen. Fearless, she makes her way through their pack, unharmed. And when one of the males gets too close, she charms him like the snake he is so that _he_ obeys her.

I admire her so much for that. I crave those men, but in her position, I wouldn't last a minute. I'd fall prey to one of those sharp-toothed wolves which would only eat me whole. But her… She is strong, armed for such a ruthless world. She knows how to engage in such transactions, how to derive pleasure from them, and she always leaves unscathed.

Tonight, I am with her. I want to watch her usual game. I want to see her defy one of those arrogant males, duel with him, make him bite the dust and claim her prize. She sits at the counter, propped upon a stool, high above her rampant subjects, and orders a Cosmopolitan. I sense the stabbing gazes of those men upon us, lurching in the shadowy atmosphere. She feels it too, but they're only a prickle to her. She remains calm and collected. I decide to do the same.

"From the gentleman over there", indicates the bartender, offering us another glass.

Pandora glances up to see what sort of fish she caught in her net, but is startled at how close the shark has got to her. Grey outfit, white shirt underneath, a devouring smile, his voice is nevertheless smooth when he addresses her:

"Long time no see, Elphie."

Pandora crumbles with the familiar nickname. It's been months, but she is still scared by how much it affects her. Only fear doesn't paralyse her, it makes her run for her life instead, urging me to do the same. I don't. He fascinates me. He is the only man she couldn't tame, the one who not only got to act out his desires with her, but who almost got away with her heart. That's why she's gone, leaving me on my own. Huge mistake. Now nothing stands between him and me.

"Kidou."

I can't bring myself to use the name she had once called him. He acknowledges the change, but doesn't seem to care:

"Sex on the beach."

I know he's referring to my drink, but the words are rolling in my mind and sending shivers down my spine. Merciless, he continues:

"Or you'd rather have an Orgasm on the rocks?"

"_Yes, please._" is the only answer that invades my mind. His sentence is sparking wild fantasies of our mingling naked bodies, reminding me of those intimate moments he and Pandora shared, and I feel something stirring deep inside. He gets straight to the point:

"We didn't get the chance of a decent goodbye. How about a last one-night stand?"

I have no choice. In every confrontation, every battle, the roles are decided, set before the fight has even begun. One is absolutely positive and determined to win, while the other has already accepted the defeat. His stance, his tone, his whole attitude are superior in every way. I shall therefore be the willing victim. I take a sip, and finally answer back:

"One full night. From dusk to dawn. Not with Elphie, nor Pandora, but with me. Take it or leave it."

I made my conditions clear. Time for his requirements. He's leaning closer, and as his eyes are shielded, I tilt my head down to watch his full lips whisper:

"Interesting. I'll take you…"

I could kiss him right here. He gets even nearer, and his voice is now a barely audible sigh, a soft breeze against my ear:

"… every way I please. Let us put those cocktails to shame."

His words are outrageous, yet so hot, they almost consume me with lust. I am flying too close to the flame, I know it. But I'm burning to be branded by his scorching iron. We agree. Tomorrow, the usual place. I leave the bar. There's nothing of interest for me here now.

* * *

The next day is a blur. All my thoughts are turned to the future. The present is too pointless. What I am doing, how the hours still manage to unravel to lead towards the evening is a complete mystery. Everything around me is hazy and doesn't make sense. I err in my flat without any purpose, from one room to another, like a goldfish in its bowl.

Pandora believes I'm more of a lunatic in a cushioned cell. She comes around from time to time. She pretends she's here to while away the day, but in reality, she's hoping to make me go back on my decision. Every time I look at her, I feel how much she's disapproving of this.

I don't care. She knows too well how much I've longed to have this man all to myself. Ever since she told me how he is: tantalizing, compelling, searing. How his touch melts you to the core. I crave to be fully his, even if I turn into Semele instead. I am fed up with living by proxy. I won't give up right now, for damn too long she's been putting me aside. My anger is swelling up and bursts right into Pandora's face:

"That's it! You can't shun me out forever! I'm taking back control over my life!"

"I'm what ? And you're… _what?_"

"You heard me. I don't need you anymore. Don't need your company, don't need your stupid advice, don't need your fucking rules!"

"Oh, yes, you do."

"Oh yeah ? And what are you going to do anyway? I will spend the night with Kidou. End of story. All night … not just a measly couple of hours."

"Have you even heard yourself? You think you're a match for him ? All night, hey? You can't even contain him for a couple of _my_ hours!"

"You're jealous, that's all. Jealous I'll get more time with him. Jealous that he might prefer _me_."

"Nozomi, stop it! I am not jealous. Believe me. I just want to protect you."

"That's what you're always saying! Stop cushioning me! What are you afraid of?"

"He's a man like all the others. He'll use you for his own interest and gratification, and once he no longer needs you, he'll dump you like refuse."

I have a sudden revelation:

"You're not talking about Kidou. You're talking about Dad! You've never got over the whole Alia matter, Pandora. That's why you've kept the name and chosen this job. Just to reverse the roles and make men pay."

"That's not true! You know very well it was because of that knee injury!"

"Come on Pandora, admit it. There were plenty of other possibilities. And yet you chose the one with all the benefits: the warmth of a man, the money, the pleasure. The satisfaction to kick him out of your life once he was hooked to your tricks."

"Well all right, all right! But I am excellent at what I do. They're just putty in my hands, do you know how thrilling this is ? Hmf. As if you'd have an idea…"

"I may not, granted. But you're only looking for revenge. I'm looking for more. For all your grand speeches, you're terrified to give your heart away and that's why you don't want me to see Kidou!"

She sighs: "He's not the man for you. He's going to bend you and break you. I refuse to pick up the pieces."

"I don't believe you. He… He's not like that."

"He is. You're just too blinded by love to realise it."

There. She said it, not me. I should feel triumphant but I am exhausted.

"True. It's killing me not to be with him. I've suffered long enough. I'm taking the risk."

Pandora's understood. This is where our paths part. As a farewell gift, she's helping me to get ready. Tonight, I am not wearing any foundation and my lips are the palest hue of ruby. My hair is pulled back in a half-ponytail, not unlike his, and is cascading down over the gorgeous amethyst halterneck dress Pandora lent me. I can tell from her look that I am the lamb going to the slaughter and that she feels sorry for me. I am not. My emerald eyes are glinting with anticipation and my smile is my brightest jewel. I feel beautiful.

As I stand in front of the darkened glass door of the discreet love hotel Pandora favours, I am but a bundle of nerves. I dart a peek to see if he's in the lobby, but the only thing I glimpse is my anguished reflexion. I compose myself and enter the building. My eyes are immediately attracted to a cyan gleam in front of me. A massive wall of computer screens is staring at me. All the rooms are there before me, each pictured in one facet of that strange bug eye. I know how this works. A touch on the screen for more details, or a reservation, a few more clicks, a credit card and the keys to your night are delivered. No human interaction, no physical contact. There'll be plenty of that later. I cannot avert my eyes from the myriad of possibilities each room entails. The ideal place for Scheherazade to invent her sovereign's nights over and over again.

A husky voice behind me interrupts my musings:

"Crunching numbers on hotel rooms?"

He came out of the blue, but I cannot help but beam. This is our game. I turn to test him:

"OK, page six lover. Get me out of my mind."

"Let's get you out of those clothes first."

He never skips a beat. His sexy smirk and his hand on the small of my back lead me to the room. As my hand is on the knob, apprehension comes over me, as if I was about to discover Bluebeard's forbidden room. I stiffen but I'm not alone. Kidou's arms are snaking around my waist and on my breasts and I can feel how much he wants to enter.

"I've missed you, you know. Very much."

Oh gosh, so have I! I give in to the tingling desire and open the door wide. I couldn't have been more wrong. The room is red.

* * *

The night has held its promises. In, out. Over, under. Fast, slow. Hard, soft. Smooth, rough. Tender, tough. Always on and never off.

Well, almost. Besides the casualties which are our clothes scattered all over the floor, this most peculiar war between us has taken its toll on him, and he's lying next to me on the bed, fast asleep. Even with his eyes once again concealed, he is gorgeous to look at. Handsome features, luscious hair, athletic body, he is my Endymion.

I cannot, I won't, I shan't go to sleep. Time is running against me. Dawn will soon be upon us, and this heavenly bubble that is just ours will soon burst. I don't want this to end. The night might be receding, but I have no intention of imitating it. I shall enjoy every minute left to the fullest.

We're skin against skin, and I'm attracted to him like a magnet. I nudge my head in the crook of his neck. His hair is light as a feather against my cheek. I bury my nose deeper to inhale him. Our night has stripped him off all olfactory artifices. His scent is of a man in all his splendour. Feral, foxy, full of testosterone; and my body is responding to his intoxicating fragrance.

I lean over him, flesh on flesh, and wrap myself around him like ivy. My mouth, my tongue and my hands are wandering on his exquisite body, exploring it, tasting it, never getting enough. He's all mine. For a few more glorious moments, he's mine alone, and I am not letting him go until my hunger for him is sated. I sense him warming to my touch, emerging from his slumber, and, for a fleeting instant, he is surprised to find me astride him. Hot, wet, ready to welcome him. While Pandora was up for pretty much anything, she never once made the first move; such was one of her rules. Well screw you Pandora. I'm the one in charge here.

I am pressed against him with all my weight, my arms imprisoning his, my legs parted over his throbbing erection. One move and he'll be inside. Screw me right now. My breathing and my reasoning are laboured. The words to explain are stuck in my throat. My eyes do the talking instead. His deep garnet irises are scanning mine for silent answers, but I leave him no time to find a suitable one. I tilt slightly away and reach for a condom on the nightstand. The power is mine. The decision over what will happen next is literally in my hands. None of us has uttered a word so far, but I need to know he's consenting to this. His wicked grin is confirmation enough. That, and his hands roaming over my body.

He's as determined as I am to nail this deal, and I feel how firm his resolve is as I slide down on him. I have decided to top him no matter what, and have him under my command for once. The sensations are thrilling, gripping. But he's not used to it, and I can tell from his in-depth and precise arguments that he wishes to overthrow me. He certainly knows how to debate in heated conditions, and how to gain you to his cause. If he continues like this, I won't be able to maintain my position much longer. He pushes his advantage further and I give in to his vigour. He's taken over me, and his joy is palpable. This is what he excels at, and he's not ashamed of rubbing it in.

I am too happy to oblige and obey his orders, but his every look, his every touch, his every kiss make me feel like a partner and not a subordinate. We are an association, a symbiosis whose only goal is pleasure. We're interlaced, intimate. Our bodies are mingled together, pulsating in unison, swaying, bending. Rolling high, rocking harder. Close, closer to the edge. Tense,taut towards the top. Reaching the absolute pinnacle in an explosion of ecstasy.

I am floating, stranded in an ocean of satisfaction, and my consciousness is gently ebbing away. His maroon eyes are the light guiding me back to the shore of his warm embrace. I feel safe. He kisses me and I finally succumb to sleep.

The sun is high in the sky when I open my eyes. I do not need to run my hand over the crumpled sheets to check what I already sense. He's gone. How could it have been otherwise ? I know better than to be naive. I knew from the start how this would play out, even without Pandora's warnings. He and I had agreed. _A last one-night stand. A decent goodbye_.

I have to leave the place, and the sooner, the better. In the full daylight, the red walls are threatening to shift from carmine carnal pleasure to excruciating crimson pain. I scurry the room to gather my stuff. As I'm putting on my dress, an envelope falls from the folds. Of course. What else to expect ? I'm tempted to leave it there behind me. Like I've left Pandora behind. Like he's left me behind. It would sure make the cleaning service happy. Me, not so much. But then, at this moment, hardly anything can.

I kneel to pick up the envelope, but something's wrong. It's too big, too thick. I sit directly on the floor. There, better. Now I can cope with almost anything. I tear it open, and it blurts its incongruity out. Banknotes, wads and wads of them, everywhere. And not the ¥1000 blue ones, no. They're all brown. ¥10 000 each. This is too much. Far too much. I'm not worth all _that_.

And then it catches my attention, the tiny white note lost among the earth shades, like a daisy timidly growing out of the soil. Loves me ? Loves me not ? The paper is in my shaky palm but I don't read it. Not yet. I want to keep the illusion for a while, before reality crushes the remnants of my delusional dream. I inhale deeply. I am ready.

The words don't register. All I can think is: _it's the first time I see his handwriting_. It's sharp, precise, determined, just like him. I'm lost in contemplation. This is stupid, I know. After all those years together, something that personal is new to me. This is how shallow we were. All our relationship was a sham, a pretence of intimacy. It hurts. I realise he's as good at putting on a mask as I am. He's even better. He's far out of my league. I can't compete. I don't even want to play this game anymore.

One. Two. Three tiny salted rivers roll down my cheeks, along the corner of my mouth, and dive into my neck. Each stream is going a bit further down than its predecessor and takes longer to dry. The tears are welling up but I furiously blink them back. I don't need that now. I want to be able to read his message without blurry words wobbling before me. I focus hard on the dancing dark lines until it all makes sense:

_Time to change careers, don't you think? Hope this helps._

_Thanks for the memories. You taste like her, only sweeter. Take care._

I close my eyes to prevent the disaster, but it's useless. The dam has cracked. Emotions are flooding me away. I am choking, sinking, drowning, but there's no point fighting it. I let myself be washed away until I emerge anew. I wipe my eyes. He's right. Time for the real Nozomi to live.

* * *

**Credit to Sophie Kinsella for her brilliant idea of "opposites are fun" and to Fall Out Boy as well****. **

**My glompiest, hugest thanks to Ishido Shuuji and Cassidy Agorade. ****I love you both to bits. *des tonnes de bisous***


End file.
